It was during my recent visit to india, one cloudy day,I picked up the newspaper and standing in the balcony enjoying the cool breeze I came across an article,I did not know would ultimately change the entire perspective I have on my own personal love life till date. Something I didn’t honestly expect to result out of an action I did due to boredom.(When u have a power cut at home, you aren’t really left with many options to entertain yourself)
Though there’s nothing much in my love life I have to be proud of, after reading the book what I’m about to tell you, certainly made me think I have nothing to cry about either . There are several doomed phases in our life when we ask ourselves or the friends around us from whom we try to seek some sort of consolation and comfort, ” why me?!” Or “what did I do so wrong? Why is it always me”
I too was there. Sleepless and tearful nights became a part of my routine. After suffering from 3 continuous failures (read heartbreaks),in a span of 5 years the only question I would often be asking myself while sobbing on my bed, in my car, in the bathroom, on quiet lonely nights, on foggy lonelier mornings and everywhere else in between, ” Why me?” … ” What did I do so wrong?””Why me, when I gave it my 100% !! ”
As if no one else on the planet was a victim of a heartbreak.
Coming back to the article on that cloudy day, it was a local newspaper’s take on one of the current best selling books in the country titled ” Can love happen twice?”. Since I happen to be living in another country where books by indian authors are not sold widely, I had not heard of who Ravinder Singh is. To find out more on why the newspaper had given such a positive review on the book, curiously I continued reading. Not satisfied with just this one article, I waited patiently for the power to return, and soon I found myself researching online,for more about this book and more about the author. Much to my surprise, several of the sites and personal blog pages came up with raving reviews on the book and that’s when I learnt that this is the sequel book to the heart touching true love story of the author himself, named ” I too had a love story” . (Yes, it had a previous part I was totally unaware of)
This was it. Next morning I headed straight to the nearest bookstore with my cousin in tow. She’s not a fan of novels and the whole “I love reading” scene, ( even I wasn’t up until 2007,when I began travelling to another city to attend college. A three hours ride in a bus that begins at 5am, I didn’t have much of an option but to get into the habit of reading novels to kill time). The anxiety on my face to begin reading these books clearly showed and she found it very amusing.I zipped in and out of the bookstore in a few minutes, headed home and in much peace sat down to read the first book.
As I flipped through the initial pages that contained the acknowledgment of the author and how this was a real tribute to his beloved, I braced myself for a story that would surely get me emotional at some point. What I dint expect, was for me to connect to the author at several instances and a teary eyed face when the book ended. The story shook me to the core of my heart. All this while I thought I had the worst luck when it came to love. I was wrong. The experience of reading this book caused me several sleepless nights, a few teary eyed moments and most importantly made me count my blessings more than ever.
I don’t intend to reveal the plot of the story but I would definitely recommend it to readers who think their life is a tragedy or the number of heartbreaks they suffer, cannot be matched to anyone else’s.(I was certainly one of them). Read this book and you will definitely want to thank your stars and luck that you dint have to go through the same ordeal as the author.(Hopefully)
This story not only gave me strength but also a certain ray of hope that what I’ve been through is much better than the ordeal of others. Sharing stories does help. At least I have always felt so. Watching some one u love leave u is not easy. During the last 5 years and 3 break ups, I saw my hope in love diminishing. Like expected, after every split, I asked myself “why me!!”. Perhaps I trust too much. Perhaps I try too hard to make things work. Perhaps the world doesn’t think like me anymore.
Being a born cancerian, my trait of being a hopeless romantic is working clearly against my favour.
I’ve always given my 100 percent to making relationships work. Perhaps this isn’t my time. Perhaps destiny is testing my patience (while having a good laugh at me) And no matter what, I’ll let destiny work this out. I’ve lost hope in love( typical ), but I don’t want love to lose hope in me. Someday I hope to be happy. Till then I’ll count my blessings and learn my lessons.
This last line comes from a quote I read last week. ” We met for a reason. You are either a blessing or a lesson” 🙂
Lastly,(before I end up with a long boring post).There are several times in this book, that I could connect with the author. His love for the girl who he hadn’t met and how their love grows from strength to strength just by their communication over the phone. Their instant connection over their common interests reminded me of the time I was falling in love with my best friend and mentor. The person I mentioned in my very first blog post.
Yes. I did not meet him. I haven’t yet. Not even from a distance. Not even up close. Its been 3 years since I know him, and we gave fate 3 chances to make us meet. But all 3 failed.(Thanks to no flight availability or the current economic crisis, rendering us both pretty much broke and residing in two different continents and 1755 miles away).Nevertheless that hasn’t stopped me from caring for him any less. I’ve tried to be with him as much as I could, virtually. On birthdays, on special days, on days he had no one, on days I had no one, through happy days, through struggles,through ‘i-am-broke days, through informative chats and through days we both discussed the future plans and our current reality. However,the closest I’ve got to him in physicality is only during our skype calls. Yet, I love him like no other. He was the first person to call me his baby (*sigh*) and my first real relationship,wherein I had someone to call my own, although virtual. We dated for a brief time, broke up and got back together. We both knew this wasn’t going to last long. Eventually what I feared the most, happened. It was inevitable. Its been two years ever since. Things from my side are pretty much the same. Everyday I thank my fate, I met him. There were times I hated him the most. His frequent habit of mincing my feelings and stabbing every part of me that loved him, made me wonder if he was going to be the first and last regret of my life and thank goodness I dint have to meet him. But when I think of all the things I have learnt from him and the good memories I share with him I think otherwise.
Meanwhile many questions swirl in my conscience. Do I still love him? Yes. Do I tell him? No. (He doesn’t like the fact that I do) Will we ever meet? Hopefully and What will I get by meeting someone who doesn’t even feel an iota of what I feel for him? Well, my only chance to look him in the eye and say that I care the most for him, to finally enjoy that hand in hand walk and that kiss he promised while we dated, to experience the warmth in his arms (which I could only imagine at one point),to laugh in real at our self made jokes,we both have a talent for and to hold his face and say, that my feelings for him have always been the same. I can only hope that he’s convinced I’m speaking the truth and realise my heart has always been aching for him somewhere miles apart, though I don’t have the liberty to even say I miss him when we chat. I don’t expect him to be with me after that. But at least, me expressing my feelings in front of him will not let me feel like I have a vacuum left by an unaccomplished goal. I have one chance of being either remembered as a good memory or a great regret to him. I’ll take it anyway.
I may have bored u by now. I’ll sign off at this point. With hope for a much better day ahead.
Do read the book. Its once of those books you rarely come across that really stir the soul and leave you with many reasons to count your blessings. You might just want to hug your loved one a little tighter after this and thank your luck. Not everyone is as lucky.
As in the case of my love story, perhaps if we were in the same city…
He would have understood me better.
We may have been together.
Signing off for now with much love.